Beam me up, Wolf Blitzer!

On U.S. election night, CNN debuted its new technology, supposedly a hologram by which they could put anybody -- in a remote location -- right there inside the studio using dozens of cameras. Totally quaint, modern and retro at the same time, though I'm not sure if it's really hologram in the Princess Leia sense.

But think about this. Wouldn't it be nice if everybody can harness this technology? Here are some things that this hologram thingy can probably make possible:

1. No more recorded acceptance speeches in award shows. ("We're sorry we can't be there tonight...wait, we're here.)

2. No more excuses to not attend Senate hearings.

3. Video conference? How jurassic.

4. You can just hologram yourself to the office.

5. You can just hologram yourself to family gatherings and meeting future in-laws. ("Mom, Dad, this is Ken, he's in Antarctica. Say hello, Ken.")

6. Preside over a cabinet meeting or attend to a national disaster while vacationing in a ranch.

7. Attend a huge parade held in your honor while being secretly ill or dead.

8. Osama bin Laden will probably be finally caught by Bush before his term ends in January.

9. Jaded actors can just hologram a performance instead of phoning it in.

10. You can actually be indicted and not be there.

11. Thousands buy tickets to a secret "reunion gig" by The Smiths.

12. Mislead the paparazzi with your hologram while you and your same-sex lover duck into a waiting car.

13. Attend simultaneous movie premieres in four continents without leaving your house.

14. You can be an extra in your favorite movies, including Jenna Jameson's.

15. "It wasn't me. It was my hologram you saw on the kitchen table with her."

16. David Blaine can finally pull off a successful stunt without nearly dying.

17. Headline: CHINA LANDS MEN ON MOON AND MARS EARLIER THAN EXPECTED

18. Headline: SPIDER-MAN--HELL--THE MARVEL UNIVERSE, SPOTTED IN CENTRAL PARK (Yehay!)

19. J.D. Salinger and Elvis on a winged white unicorn jumping over a rainbow in London.

20. Black man wins U.S presidential election (people still pinching themselves, but hmmm...)